My Learning Experience

The inherently behavioural nature of this inquiry has meant I have found it challenging to portray a true representation of motivational attitudes and behaviour within the classroom. As an artist I am able to appreciate that words are not the only form of expression and if the getting up and moving around the classroom is what truly motivates my students, the irony lies with me sitting down to write a body of text in order to articulate findings. After all, my understanding during this process has developed from what I did, not from writing it down.
In looking at my current professional environment through a motivation/confidence tinted lens, it was highly likely that I would find similarities between myself and the participants. My confidence in the wish to check transcribed interviews with participants to ensure accurate representations, mirrors that of those students who ask the same question/s repeatedly in order to gain understanding. Motivationally, my intrinsic desires lay in my genuine interest and curiosity of the topic but completion of this inquiry was also driven by the extrinsic time schedule. Time has therefore been a legitimate theme throughout this investigation in attempting to maintain an achievable balance between University commitments and professional responsibility, a balancing act likely occurring inside all participants involved.
In previous modules whereby I have noticed the progressive ‘steps’ I was making in the work, the process has now become natural in that I accept new knowledge without having to stop to actually acknowledge the process. Realising my range of questions were too broad and the changing of my perceptions regarding confidence/motivation were only recognised as ‘steps’ after a conversation with my advisor (Adesola), as I had already learned from these incidents and instinctively approached them quicker than I have done at any other stage of this BAPP programme.

I am now aware that data collected during this process did not provide the ‘answers’. Instead, every part of the inquiry process from interviews to reflecting on my day at work whilst in the checkout queue, were all ‘ingredients’ that made up the ‘recipe’ of my understanding. Had there been any readily-available answers in the literature, there wouldn't have been the desire/need for me to carry out this line of inquiry. My unique position lay in that I was able to link studies of motivation and apply them to a dramatic environment and as such, ‘answers’ were formed through the  links between all of the different elements.
My journey as a distance learner over the entirety of the BAPP programme has meant a transition from constantly seeking the approval of my advisor for fear of being ‘wrong’, to being more confident in my abilities to explore my practice. The support network of fellow peers/SIG members built throughout this experience should provide different perspective should I seek it in the future. Motivation being the nebulous concept that it is, the shape that this inquiry has taken was not as clear-cut as I first anticipated it being. What I had originally perceived to be a two week schedule of research tools as the main window for my learning has instead been the process of the inquiry (and BAPP course) overall and has been all along; reflecting on my experiences whilst at Middlesex has allowed me to appreciate my significant learning curve.